How to Find a Therapist: A 6-Step Guide
Photo by Christin Hume on Unsplash
As a Licensed Clinical Social Worker practicing in California, Colorado, and Texas, one of the most common questions I receive is: "How do I even start finding a therapist?" The process can feel overwhelming, especially when you’re already struggling and navigating insurance, online directories, and consultation calls adds another layer of stress. This guide breaks down the 6 essential steps to finding the right therapist for your needs, whether you’re using insurance or seeking private pay options.
Step 1: Identify Why You're Seeking Therapy
Okay, this part’s fairly easy, and if you’re thinking about reaching out to a professional you’ve probably already completed this step. Once you reach out for a consultation, which is Step 5, having a bullet point list of the things you’d like to address in therapy will come in handy. So think about it, what’s bringing you in? Why now? Are you having a tough time managing work stress? Maybe you are looking to learn more about yourself? Do you want to learn coping skills for managing anxiety? There are so many valids reasons why one may want to seek professional help from a mental health professional.
Step 2: Determine What You're Looking for in a Therapist
It’s okay to have opinions and expectations about what you’re looking for in therapy or in a therapist. Most expectations are valid though there are some unrealistic expectations some people have about therapy (cue reminder: Therapy is not a magic pill, unfortunately). So, maybe you want someone who’s going to be real with you, or maybe it’s important you feel safe with them, or you’re looking for someone to simply help you sort out your feelings and thoughts. Generally, I find that people come to therapy because they want to feel better or cope in healthier ways. They usually want an unbiased professional who can help guide them through their issues and concerns. Regardless of your expectations, be sure to have an idea in mind, and this will make more sense once you consult with a provider and fully engage in the therapeutic process.
Step 3: Understanding Your Insurance Benefits
If you want to find a private pay therapist, skip to Step 4 instead.
Now we’re getting into the good stuff. Oftentimes, people will choose to use their insurance benefits because there’s typically a small copay involved. However, sometimes people come across a therapist they really like and then realize the therapist only accepts private pay and doesn’t take insurance. So, let’s walk through this together.
First things first, if you’re looking to go through your insurance provider, whether it’s HMO or PPO, call them. I know! Most people dread having to do this, I do too! Health insurance in the United States makes everything so freaking complicated. However, it’s important to understand your benefits and coverage so you feel confident and well-informed before reaching out to anyone. Typically, insurances have a specific number you can call for mental health benefits usually titled “Behavioral Health” or something similar, and it may be listed on your insurance card or you can find it in your insurance provider’s website. Okay, you found the number. Now what? You want to ask your insurance provider about your in-network and out-of-network benefits like 1. Do I have mental health benefits? 2. How many sessions do I have and is there a limit? 3. What’s the copay for in-network providers? 4. What are the steps for reimbursement for out-of-network providers? 5. Do I have a deductible? You’ll also want to ask how to contact in-network providers. For example, you might be able to use your insurance app to search your area or they may be able to email you a list of in-network providers near your city.
FYI, you may be asked for the CPT code in order to verify the reimbursement rate. The CPT code for 50 minute individual therapy sessions is 90834 and the CPT code for 60 minute individual therapy sessions is 90837.
Step 4: Finding a Private Pay Therapist
Sometimes people don’t want to go through their insurance for a variety of reasons. Maybe they found a clinician they really like and that clinician only accepts private pay. Sometimes insurances don’t cover mental health sessions if there isn’t “medical necessity,” which means you’d have to meet criteria for a mental health diagnosis and maybe you do, but many people who come to therapy may not. Maybe it’s an issue of privacy and you don’t want your insurance to be privy to your mental health records. Whatever your reasons, if you’d like to take this route you have a few options.
First, if you feel comfortable doing so, you can ask people you know if they have any referrals for mental health professionals. As one of the few therapists in my community, I often get asked by friends/family if I have any referrals, and I’m happy to share with them. Also, you’d be surprised at the number of people who’ve gone to therapy so it’s likely someone you know can provide a really great referral. Online therapy directories are one of the best tools for finding a therapist who matches your specific needs. Here are a few popular ones: Latinx Therapy, Inclusive Therapists, Mental Health Match, Therapy Den, Psychology Today, and many more. Once you choose an online directory, you’ll be able to search your area by city or zip code and use other helpful filters (issues, speciality, cost, etc.) to narrow down your search results.
Note 1: Whether you go through your insurance or an online directory, be sure to make a list of clinicians that you’re interested in calling for a consultation. You’ll need a list, because it’s possible the clinician you reach out to isn’t accepting new clients or you may not even hear back from them at all (unfortunately I hear this happening quite frequently).
A Word About Corporate Therapy Platforms
I want to address platforms like BetterHelp and TalkSpace. While these apps make therapy appear accessible, there are significant concerns within the mental health community about how they operate.
These platforms prioritize corporate profit over therapist welfare and client care. Therapists on these platforms are often:
Significantly underpaid (sometimes earning less than $30/hour despite holding advanced degrees)
Expected to maintain unrealistic caseloads
Given little control over therapist-client matching
From a client perspective, these platforms also raise concerns:
Questionable data privacy practices and metadata mining
Inconsistent quality of care due to high therapist turnover
Limited ability to build sustained therapeutic relationships
Aggressive marketing tactics that can feel predatory
The therapeutic relationship is sacred. It requires trust, consistency, and a therapist who has the time, energy, and support to show up fully for you. Corporate platforms compromise this by treating therapy as a product to be scaled rather than a healing relationship to be nurtured.
My recommendation: If cost is a concern, explore community mental health centers, sliding scale therapists in your area, or training clinics affiliated with universities. Open Path Collective provides accessible rates. Inclusive Therapists provides a list of resource funds. There are options that provide ethical, accessible, quality care without supporting corporate models that undervalue both therapists and clients. Support your local community, support small business ✊🏼.
For a deeper dive into these concerns, the Therapy Den founder discusses metadata mining and other issues in this podcast episode: Therapy Reimagined Podcast.
Step 5: Scheduling Your Consultation Call
Remember Step 1, when we talked about identifying your reasons for therapy? Here’s where that preparation pays off. Once you’ve gathered a list, start calling and shooting those emails out to schedule a consultation. Most therapists offer a free consultation call, ranging from 15-30 minutes, sometimes called consultation or introductory call, to help determine if you’re a good match. It’s helpful to talk on the phone with a therapist rather than jumping into scheduling the intake appointment, because this time will allow you to ask questions and feel them out. Maybe you need specific support with an issue they’re not trained to treat, this is the perfect time to discuss this. Personally, I would steer clear from any mental health professional who wants to schedule an intake appointment without first making time to see if it’ll be a good fit.
During the call, be sure to ask questions. Sometimes people get a bit shy but as a patient/client you have rights, and it’s okay to ask questions so you can make an informed decision about your care. Think about this: What do you want to know about therapy or their practice? Do you have questions about the therapeutic process? Are you wondering about their educational background or the type of treatments they provide? Perhaps it’s important to you to know that your therapist is social justice oriented and queer affirming. This call will allow you to briefly share with your potential therapist the reasons you’re seeking therapy (example: “I’ve been feeling more depressed lately and I want to figure out why.”) and you can also share your expectations (example: “I really want to work with someone that I can feel safe with and who can give me feedback.”). When I think about it, a consultation call is kind of a vibe check. Does it feel like the right fit? Listen to your gut.
Step 6: Making Your Decision (Schedule or Keep Searching)
During the consultation, you’ll have to decide one of two things. If it feels right, you can ask the therapist about their availability and schedule an intake appointment. If you have a gut feeling that it may not be the right fit or maybe you’d just like to finish consulting with the therapists on your list to weigh your options, say so. You can thank the therapist for their time and let them know you’ll be consulting with other therapists or that you’ll be in touch. It won’t hurt their feelings, we know how this works. Consultation is part of the process and therapists understand not every caller will be the right fit or will want to schedule an intake appointment right then and there.
When You've Found Your Therapist
Once you've selected a therapist and scheduled your intake appointment, remember that the therapeutic relationship takes time to develop. Give yourself a few sessions to settle in before making final judgments about the fit.
If something doesn't feel right, discuss this with your therapist directly. You’d be surprised! Sometimes addressing your concerns openly can strengthen your therapeutic relationship and help your therapist adjust their approach to better meet your needs. A skilled therapist will welcome this feedback.
However, if after that conversation you still feel it's not the right match, you have every right to find someone else. A skilled therapist will support this decision and may even provide referrals. Your comfort and sense of safety in therapy are crucial, never stay with a therapist out of guilt or obligation.
Finding the right therapist is worth the effort. The relationship you build becomes the foundation for meaningful growth, healing, and change. Trust the process, trust your instincts, and don't settle.
Closing Thoughts on Finding a Therapist
The process of finding a therapist can feel overwhelming, but breaking it down into manageable steps makes it more approachable. Whether you're using insurance or seeking private pay options, whether you're looking for support with anxiety, depression, life transitions, or identity exploration, the right therapist for you is out there.
If you're in California, Colorado, or Texas and looking for a therapist, I currently have availability for new clients. I specialize in working with queer people and women who are navigating self-exploration, anxiety, depression, trauma, life transitions, mother wounds, LGBTQ+ identity, and spirituality. I provide virtual therapy using eclectic and evidence-based approaches in a space that's affirming, culturally sensitive, and tailored to your unique needs.
I also offer complimentary 20-minute consultation calls so we can determine if we're a good fit before you commit to scheduling. This is exactly the kind of consultation I described in Step 5, a no-pressure conversation to see if my approach aligns with what you're looking for.
Ready to take the next step? Email me at noemi@stillnesstherapy.net or call (562) 204-6025 to schedule your free consultation.
Have questions about the therapy process or finding the right therapist? I'd love to hear from you in the comments below.
For more resources on mental health and therapy, explore my other posts:
